Meanwhile...

Ephemera and whimsy
Lullabelle
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Lullabelle » 4 months ago

I said I wasn't going to have a drink this month, however I am aware of the small bottle of red wine we have upstairs.
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Rutabaga
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Rutabaga » 4 months ago

So sorry, Lullabelle, my condolences x
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Regulator » 4 months ago

Hugs from us ...
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Joan
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Joan » 4 months ago

How are you doing today, @Lullabelle?
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Lullabelle
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Lullabelle » 4 months ago

Joan wrote:
4 months ago
How are you doing today, @Lullabelle?
Not too bad thanks, went to dad's flat this morning to collect paperwork and secure his valuables, made the relevant phone calls, so now we wait. Running on hyper at the moment, finding it hard to relax.
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Joan
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Joan » 3 months ago

I think burying a loved one would be hard at the moment. Just the practicalities of it. But also, we a lot of people come to my parents' funerals we had never met. It was such a comfort as these strangers reached out to tell me what mum or dad had meant to them. You can't have that now.

I hope you find a way to commemorate his life that is meaningful to your family.
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JohnToo
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by JohnToo » 3 months ago

Joan wrote:
3 months ago
I think burying a loved one would be hard at the moment. Just the practicalities of it. But also, we a lot of people come to my parents' funerals we had never met. It was such a comfort as these strangers reached out to tell me what mum or dad had meant to them. You can't have that now.

I hope you find a way to commemorate his life that is meaningful to your family.
Funerals are definitely different under the various current restrictions. With so few people allowed and the discouragement from travelling, you often find that the people who are able to come are basically the immediate family and very close friends, who knew the deceased very well. So the traditional Tribute, which largely rehearses and celebrates the life, can seem a bit pointless. I did take one funeral with only half a dozen mourners where they wanted as close an approximation to a traditional funeral as possible - Tribute, hymn, Lord's Prayer despite being non-religious, etc - because that felt to them like the right way to show their respect for their parent. But I've done a couple where the mourners have felt liberated and empowered to start with a blank sheet of paper, and make it more personal. One of the things a celebrant should always try to do is help people think through what they actually want the ceremony to achieve, rather than just reach for the default, and that has become easier the more restrictive funerals have become.

Best wishes for all the multiple decisions and choices you will be having to make and lots of virtual hugs from me.
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Lullabelle » 3 months ago

Dad's funeral was yesterday, it went as well as could be expected, only half an hour, masks to be worn at all times, no wake.
All the stress and worry of the last couple of years has gone and left me feeling shattered. Dad and my brother are both at peace and no longer suffering.
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by JohnToo » 3 months ago

Thinking of you. Take care of yourself and best wishes.
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Joan
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Joan » 3 months ago

Yeah. I want to find the right words. There are no right words.

But know that we care, and we want the best for you.

Go for long walks, swim laps (if that's an option), do weight lifting, cycle, run, mindfulness mediation. Anything might help you escape from dark thought patterns and give yourself a little respite. It's going to be hard for a long time. I can't imagine losing a father and brother so close.
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Greg
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Greg » 3 months ago

Sorry for your loss.

FWIW we lost my mum last January, its been a tricky year for all sorts of reasons but the anniversary of her death last week, felt a little like a new start. So hold on in there.
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Lullabelle » 3 months ago

Greg wrote:
3 months ago
Sorry for your loss.

FWIW we lost my mum last January, its been a tricky year for all sorts of reasons but the anniversary of her death last week, felt a little like a new start. So hold on in there.
Sorry Greg xx
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Lullabelle » 3 months ago

Joan wrote:
3 months ago
Yeah. I want to find the right words. There are no right words.

But know that we care, and we want the best for you.

Go for long walks, swim laps (if that's an option), do weight lifting, cycle, run, mindfulness mediation. Anything might help you escape from dark thought patterns and give yourself a little respite. It's going to be hard for a long time. I can't imagine losing a father and brother so close.

Both had been poorly for a few years so I had time to prepare so neither came as a shock, however we are dealing with dad's finances etc...so don't feel as though I can relax just yet, maybe once it is all over it will sink in.
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Joan
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Joan » 3 months ago

Everything that has happened since last March has a weird film over it, as if it's slightly unreal. Death, too, I am sure.

Hopefully you can get things sorted without much pain..
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Re: Meanwhile...

Post by Lullabelle » 3 months ago

Today we went to dad's flat, my sister, her husband and their eldest son were there, we finished off emptying and cleaning then handed over the keys.
A sad day.
Once the country is back open again we are looking at having a party to celebrate dad and our brother, see family and friends again.
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